Some battles you have to wait to win

When you have a child, you have many expectations. When they begin to develop skills ahead of time you have hope that they will lead a much better life than you have had.  When genetics throw roadblock you wonder what went wrong.

My oldest son has battled ADHD since he began school. Seemingly simple things like sitting still, learning the required skills and even some peer interactions were a struggle. Usually a happy child, my oldest would have mood swings.   For a time he was on medication just so he could function in the school system.

But gradually things began to change for the better. By fifth grade we dropped the meds completely although nightly homework was an unwelcome fight most evenings.  Spelling is never going to be his strong suit, thank goodness for spellcheck on most computer programs.

My youngest is completely normal (well as normal as any boy can be anyway.) He loves cars, draws and enjoys reading.  School is easy for him, along with all of the social aspects of life.

My oldest has hated reading, hated the fact that sitting still and looking at squiggles on the page represented words and ideas his mind did not process well. Based on sound and what he saw, his world could be described and recited, not written.  It’s a hard fact to swallow as a parent to know that your child is above the status quo in some areas but lacking in others.  I spent years in teacher meetings, going to the classroom after the day was over, sitting and explaining why he had to learn to do this, and screaming when I was screamed at.  The last didn’t happen often and it made more of an impact as 90% of the time I faced his temper with absolute calm.

The strangest thing began to happen last year.  Normally I am not a fan of endless hours of video games,  the boys were limited to an hour or two a day, but I noticed a sudden interest by my oldest to the popular Call of Duty games.  The interest in this first-person shooter led to my son, who never liked to read, searching out every book in the school library on WWII along with a few other boys in the class.  While not huge books it was progress.

Two years later, my son walked into my house with Hunger Games tucked under his arm. He’s a slow reader but he is getting through it a page at a time. He is reading his level, something that I had always worried about.  Given the choice, he’d rather have an audio book, but if it catches his interest, he will read it to the end.

Last week I announced to my boys that I was participating in NaNo and while looking at the website, we found the Young Writers portion.  They both jumped at the chance to write a novel with me.  I can’t even express how excited and proud this has made me.

After fighting an uphill battle for years, my son is finally on the winning side.


4 responses to “Some battles you have to wait to win

  1. Shadow,

    My heart swells for you and your sons, how amazing! I have struggled with ADD as well – only in the last year have I gotten on the proper meds to help me with them, they make a world of difference! I know the trials and how hard it is to function and I am pleased that your eldest has conquered his and was able to do as he weaned off of the medication. And now they both want to write! Triple happy times for ya!!

    Good luck with your NaNo! It was a blast last year, I hope you have lots of fun 😀


  2. And, that is good advice — Waiting for the win. Hard to be patient when we’re in the moment, but thanks for this. It really puts things into perspective for me today and was very needed 🙂


  3. I’m happy to hear that your son, even both of them, are doing so well. I like to think of the patience that you’ve brought up here and how much it takes to improve things even as simple as it might seem to others be milestones in life instead. Your soft encouragement makes all the difference with your sons. I just know it! I love how you put this – “on the winning side!”


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