The hazards of being female and gaming

I’ve mentioned a few times here on the blog that I game. With all of the other things I do, it’s low on the priority list, but I do like to get a few games of League of Legends in especially on the weekend. I’ve earned my silver ranking in the game, as I don’t play much, don’t play often with a group and play a support role most of the time(These all make climbing in the ranked more difficult). Most of the time I simply jump on and start up the queue eager to get a round or two in before something else distracts me.

For the most part, I can simply play the game without thinking much. Sure a support role can be difficult especially when you don’t have any idea what kind of style your laning partner has and you aren’t sure of the skill level of anyone else on your team. But while the game is going, story plot lines can buzz in the back of my head and the dryer can do its thing.

Gaming is one of my escapes.  I read a lot, do some crafting things weekly and of course write, but I know I need something else that at least lets me interact with people at least a bit, so for me gaming is a good fit. League is often pretty quick rounds, usually less than an hour. So while the dryer or the dishwasher is going, I can play before I have to do something else.

So Saturday  night I jumped on to play. Played a few non-ranked games to warm up and check to see if the servers were behaving. Things were good so I jumped in queue for ranked. When one of the players asked if I had skype, I should have known things were going to go down hill.

I don’t give out my skype. (I’m not stupid) If players want to communicate there’s some open teamspeaks that I direct them to.  This way I’m safe from weird people typing me random things. Also if they give me any trouble (which none have), I can get them banned pretty quickly too.

But that doesn’t stop them from making comments on the game itself.  And that’s just what one player did just before the game started. Comments that got me shaken and angry even before the game started.

For the most part, most of the games I’ve played have been good. Sure I have an off game or miss an attack and have someone gripe. That’s normal.  However, there’s a few people out there who make gaming painful and humiliating. Why these people think they can act like that–I have no idea, but I’m sure they know and enjoy the discomfort they give other players.

This one was no different. After a few more comments during the game I could feel my blood pressure rising. Ticked off was a mild word, especially since it was really throwing me off my game.  I didn’t mute the player or the laning partner because I wanted to accurately put in a complaint after the game. Maybe I should have (I know) but I knew things weren’t going to improve. But I did play it out. We did end up losing, though.

After the game I did report the player and the laning partner who obviously was in on the trolling, harassing other players as well as myself.  I hope the other players on  my team did the same.

Toxic players aren’t anything new. If a game involves other people, you will find some that are rude, obnoxious and exhibit a troll like behavior.  For players, it’s a game breaker. Many people quit playing if the environment is hostile, even if they truly enjoyed the game. Putting up with those kind of people lessens the enjoyable factors.

Was Saturday night a game breaker for me?


As I said, most of the games are good. In fact, I went back and played another after I cooled off a bit. I had a very respectful group, even if our jungler kept dcing the entire game. No one complained even though we lost. Even the opposing team was respectful of our troubles. All in all it was a good game.

I’m not going to give up on gaming. I like it. No one is going to force me to play something else because they think (wrongly!!!) that they are better or deserve to game because of their gender, skin color or even age.

Gaming belongs to everyone, not just a select few.





4 responses to “The hazards of being female and gaming

  1. What exactly was jerk ass saying?

    Granted, I don’t really do the MMORPG thing; I’ve always been a paper and pencil RPGer. But I’ve never really had any negative experiences as a gamer girl. In fact, most of my experiences were really positive. Okay, one time some guys started talking really dirty to see if I’d blush. But I’m a farm chick, and I could out-crude them any day. I did that very thing, and was so successful that the game broke up for a good ten minutes while the instigator hid under the table so I wouldn’t see him crying with laughter, and blushing right down to his toes.

    But that’s me. YMMV.


    • Well it was pure sexual harassment. Things best not said over the internet. It wasn’t the run of the mill joking around that some players do when they realize a female is playing. It was the I’m going to troll you until you are either ticked off enough you won’t play well or run away crying kind of thing.

      Yes I can handle it but it still made me mad.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. My wife and I both play Planetside2. Before that, we played the original. We’re loyal NC soldiers on Emerald. She’s famous on the server; I’m not.

    We have a player on our server, whose player name I will mention right here: WisdomCube. Say this name to anybody on Emerald and you will get the same reaction. His trolling is grating, widespread and the reaction it gets is always very entertaining. He is truly infamous.

    Which is why I love mute. Mute is glorious, beautiful and worth more than a 10X scope on my railjack. Mute is the solution to all things bad. My score goes up immediately after I mute some asshat stomping all over chat with stupid useless stuff that makes me wanna throw my mouse at the screen. Just not hearing asshatery lifts a veil of darkness and confusion to be replaced by a keen situational awareness and a new-found proficiency at shooting things.

    My wife experienced what I’m sure is something similar to what you’re talking about. Vulgar language, insanely misogynist insults and a sneering reverie in all of it – just the sort of thing that would land my 250 pounds on his head before I stuff it into a brick wall if he had the balls to say it in person. I mean, it was bad. I know *exactly* what you mean when you say “mad”. People like this are lucky they have the Internet between them and our righteous indignation coupled with a solid left hook.

    Mute is good.


    • Yes mute is good. 🙂 And yes I should have muted the idiot. He is on my banned list.

      League does have a report system where you can report misconduct and supposedly a ban for those who harass other players especially in cases of sexual harassment. However, those can take a while, and how can you permaban someone when they just switch emails and level up a new character? If the IP could be blocked that would be a huge improvement.

      I’m not sure of the solution. Mute is an option, but it doesn’t solve anything. Not really sure if there is a solution at all.


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